I’ve searched for you,

Through the smell of Hydrangeas we once saw blooming in the summer,

In the warmth where we took shelter inside each other’s embrace,

Across the stream of tears that fell slowly down our faces in times of desperation,

Through the bloody shards of trust we shattered with our bare hands,

To find you trapped, again, inside the walls that gave your mouth a foul taste

To realize that I have, again, become as foreign to you as affection once was.

I’ve searched for you,

and I’ve found you.

But I lost you.

Pekanbaru, August 4th 2015
Aldo Muhes


As I die, Summer ends

This morning the sun rises slowly to meet the sky.
The singing birds freeing their wings from slumber.

As the sun rises clamly, I retreat into my bed.
As birds sing and prance, my mind wanders.

The morning breeze fondle the leaves of trees.
This morning the flowers are like memories.

As the calm wind softly blow, I go.
As the flowers come alive, I die.

I die with the rising sun,
I die with its warmth.

I die and birds sing,
I die in their melody.

I die whilst the wind stream,
I die quietly, without screams.

I die with the scent of blooming hydrangeas,
I die peacefully knowing summer loved me.

One of those nights

I can’t sleep

I miss you

And I fucking hate how every second I spend is being on my bed, not lying next to you instead.

In this big fat carcass there’s a heart, well there used to be one until you came a long and ripped it out.

Now it’s out. Now it’s yours.

Keep it.

I’m already dead, from the moment we locked eyes, dead.
I’m already dead, from that time when we laughed at shit we didn’t understand, dead.
I’m already dead, and dead men tell no tales, dead.

It’s ridiculous to think that after the hell you put me through, I’m gonna welcome you back inside with open arms, no.

You come when you only need me.

You come when you need to shrug off grief.

You never come to me and just say you miss me, because I sure miss you.

Because, you got my permission to be ridiculous, come on here and be ridiculous.

It’s one of those nights.
I can’t sleep, so I kept the lights on.
Maybe the lights would shine some light on the deep dark void you left me with.

It’s one of those nights.
And I hate it.