age

old news papers
with old news
of long famines
and massacres
there’s nothing new

old news papers
fathers dying
mothers crying
children killing
there’s nothing new

old books
old poetry
old people
with their old thoughts
and their wrinkly skin
covering their weakly bones
talking about
old news papers
and old news

there’s nothing new

I. Dread

Some of us are divided inside, and

the two sides are at war, with

each other.
They are in an age long deadlock,

and both sides refuse to

surrender.
The battle ground is the soul, and

while the warring sides feel no pain,

the soul always suffers.
The battles could last for days, months, or more;

It could also be so short, like how night falls in the

summer.
And we know wars lead to nothing but blood and tears, devastation and destruction; it is everything we fear, but denial is pretention.
And we all know the pain of losing friends, and maybe losing lovers; but the dread of this war is far worse than anything we could imagine.
This war rages on even through rain or drought,

through heat and cold, and through anything in between; its continuous, this I have no doubt.
Some see pleasure in destroying, some weep, and mourn, and grief; some fight with all their might, some flee and never to be found; but in the end all would break apart and crumble, like old leaves on the ground.
Some of us are divided inside, and

the war between them rages on; but

whatever happens in this war, whatever

the outcome maybe;
I beg of you to carry on, for

[soon] we would all be free.

no one realizes this

no one realizes
that they get younger
as they age
by the years

they start to reminisce
how it feels to be a kid
while in front of them
are paperwork and staplers
all the while they’re
stuck inside of cubicles

“how i miss being a girl”
a lady says to her daughter
and her son walks into the room
thinking he’s already a man
and the husband curses the tv
his favorite team is losing

no one realizes that
i wonder why

i want grandkids
someday in the future
so i’d have a friend
to play hide and seek with

17.04

My love, calm yourself.

My love, calm yourself. 

You are not what you think you are,
and you would not become
that which you fear the most.

Listen to my voice, I am here,
I would not leave you alone.

You demons are strong,
but they are not invincible.

Deprive them of hate,
and of fear,
and of anxiety;

They would start to weaken,
and finally cease to be.

If they ever come again,
and you’re too tired to fight,
remember that I am here for you;
in both joy and plight.

Lord give me strength

This too shall pass.


Lord give me strength,
to fight the demons inside of me,
so I may be free from their tyranny.

Lord give me strength,
to endure the darkening skies,
to overcome and finally see light.

Lord give me strength,
to love those around me,
to smite all the hate and envy.

Lord give me strength,
to carry this cross I bear,
to endure the thorns I wear.

Lord give me strength,
to conquer these thoughts that possess,
to realize that this too shall pass.

I want to die a quick death

​I want to die a quick death,
But let the mourning be forever,

Because in death, and death only,

When I exist closest to the core,
I exist now, tomorrow, and forevermore.
Let the nights and days after my passing,

Be a time of remembrance for people that long;
Those that long for a feeling so tender,

Those that long have lost their passion,

Those that long for the flames in them to burn again,

Those that long have lived but have not been alive,

To souls that in hope could find a means to strive.

Let their longing for things past,

Be their light in their search;

Be the night and the stars,

Guiding the sailor through the seas,

Become the calmness in silence,

Which with it lonesomeness refuse to be,

Be the cries of a newborn baby,

Sweet innocence we’ve now lost,

Become the feeling of sadness vanquished,

Sadness that once too conquered glee.
Let their longing become mountains,

one mountain two, then maybe thousands.
Then up these mountains they’d climb,

and declare: “I have conquered myself!”

also space, also time,

I have conquered the world by defeating me.
Let my passing be a gateway for better days;
Times when we’re all, again, humans before ideals,

Times which we greet in old age with a smile,

Times that could never be rewind but cherished so,

The time that we again feel compassion and gratitude,

and we reap the benefits of the seed we’ve sow.
I want to die a quick death,

But right now to be alive is to fight for life.

I will rise up again with all my scars and stand tall,

Struggle for the death that would be the best,

for me, for you, and for us all.